Those were the days...

Today, I met up with 2 groups of people...

Firstly, I met up with one of my vendors from my VISA project, together with one of my VISA colleagues. We had something to drink at Killiney Kopitiam at Boat Quay. We talked about how things is currently when the vendor no longer manages one of the upcoming project and how his successor doesn't seems to be delivering the things as it were the last time. It was a short 40 min chat before I had to rush to meet another group of people.

This group of people are my ex-colleagues from SISTIC. All of them seems to be doing well. We met up and went for Taiwan Porriage at Amoy Street. The food is quite good, although we seems to have over-ordered as we had left-overs. It was good catching up with them, knowing what they are up to and how they are doing.. I kinda missed the part where each will just 'poking fun' at the other, passing sarcastic remarks here and there.. Actually there are a few more of my ex-colleagues that I've not seen for a long while.. Those were the days when everyone is a colleague AND a friend... Those were the days..

Big Headache and Little Comfort..

Am having a big headache with the roster of my monitoring team.

One of them is going on long leave (study leave - 2 weeks), the other is on NS standby (meaning he might be activated any time by MINDEF - 3 weeks) and the third being re-deployed to another team. With only 5 person in the team and each manning 1 day and 1 night shift every 4 days, this has completely wrecked my roster into pieces...

In essence, I need to put 2 person doing night shifts alternatingly and 1 person on permanent day shifts for 12 consecutive days as I cannot risk having him doing night shifts when he is (so lucky) to be activated by MINDEF. The roster is plain madness and damn tiring. But I have no other choices... I even need help from the ex-team lead to help cover for 2 weekends.

I feel so useless and helpless. I can't even cover my own team when there is a manpower shortage. How sad can that be??!! I want to learn and take on their duties so I can help ease the load, but my team lead and my HP manager don't want me to!! So all I can do is to plan the roster and ask others to cover. Sometimes I hate asking people for favours. I just hate to beg/ask for something when I myself can do/get it.

However, I've learn to not take things so seriously/personally. Since they do not want me to cover the monitoring team's duties even when there is a shortage of manpower, I can't do much about it. I can do my best and hope for the best. If the roster is not agreeable by the guys who is going to do the shifts, then I'll just highlight it to my HP boss and ask him to resolve it. Because they TIED my hands, I can't help them. Now I'll just cross my fingers & hope the guys can manage the shifts and there is no more suprises in the month of Mar... *cross fingers*

Signed Up...

Yesterday, I've signed up for Japanese Language Lesson at Bunka Language School at Delfi Orchard... Classes will start on 27 Mar, every Monday for the subsequent 2 months. This means that every Monday, I shall leave office at 5.30pm (for dinner first) or wait for my colleague to go together at 6pm. The lesson starts 6.30pm and ends 3 hours later.

The school was recommended by 2 of my ex-colleagues. So it should be good. However, looking at the 'text book' that was given, I am seriously curious at how the teacher is going to pull this off. The way the book is structured is very different from any conventional Japanese language text books.. So maybe they (the school) really did find a better way to teach Japanese..

So, let's see after 2 months' lessons, what will be my verdict. Will it be a $220 well-spent or just throwing money down the drain for something that is better left to self-learn.

Appreciation..

Well, well, well, what do you know... I was commended for providing excellent services to a project during the VISA-TS staff meeting this afternoon! I was one of the 5 being commended by the VISA-TS General Manager and presented with a token of appreciation..

Unfortunately, I wasn't not present to enjoy that appreciation as I was still stuck at my desk, still frantically trying to sort out my monitoring team roster headache. Later, the 'Manager' of the project passed me that token. It turned out to be a VISA-TS jacket!! Not bad... They even make sure the jacket does fit by giving me a size-L...

Not just that.. The business owner of that project even promised the 5 of us a treat, on company's expense!! Wow!!

So, it seems that it does pay (in a small way, monetary-wise) to do my best (even if it's only during those short office hours)... :P

Sunday night blues....

The thought of having to work tomorrow just makes me depressive...

I used to jump out of bed, eagerly awaits for another exciting day at the office.. Sometimes with several projects going on, I used to be thrilled to be overwelmed by work (don't ask me why, maybe it was due to my 年少无知). I used to work late, until 6-7pm normally, and won't want to go home even!

Alas! How things have changed! Ever since the notion of 'permanent rice bowl' and loyalty to the company have been squashed few years back, the motion of going to work is only to pay my bills. Nothing more nothing less. I need the money, they need my expertise, fair trade. End of the day, if either one of us do not require the service of the other, we part ways. No hard feelings, no attached emotions.

How materialistic/mercenary it has become, you might comment. Well, since when does the company give a hoot about you or your family? End of the day, all they worried about is their bottom line or their dignity or whatever. Thus, when did 'you' come into their quotient?

If there is another company offering better benefits, jump ship NOW!! No one will appreciate your sacrifices nor will anyone remembers you when the times are good.. Be realistic! This is a dog-eat-dog world. Everyone is looking after their own asses, and your boss will be the last one you would expect to cover yours. So, please remember: 人不为己，天诛地灭。

Brokeback Mountain is...

hard to describe or categorise, at least for me...

The built-up of feelings (of love) between the 2 main characters was not very convincing to me. If one is to believe that homosexuality is a nurtured behaviour, then there must be thousands of gay cowboys since the Wild West, given the situation at that time!! If it is nature, then both of them just happened to be in the right place at the right (most vulnerable/loneliest) time to be 'stuck' on each other.

But as the movie goes along, it's so heart-aching to see, once one get over the fact that it is 2 (cute) guys agonising over this forbidden love (at that time), how both tried and failed to 'quit' one another..

I must say Ang Lee did a great job bringing this onto the big screen, although there are some scenes that I was uneasy about (like the first time they did 'it' in the tent at the Brokeback Mountain). [Mind you, it's not that I am conservative or homophobic, I've seen many more gay make-out scenes in HBO's Six Feet Under.] Once he shown us how they 'devour' one another every time they had the chance, he stop at that. Never too graphic (thus turning it into a cheesy gay porn) nor did he try to preach (aka one should not be homosexual). He just leave it as it is. A story of 2 person caught in a forbidden love, treasuring each other whenever they have the chance/time, wanting yet unable to attain it, holding themselves back from following their hearts because of the obligation they have to their families, and in the end suffering because of it.

The story spans almost 20 years, meaning their relationship too went through such a long torment. The romantic in me wanted to believe that it was their true love for one another that kept this relationship alive for over 2 decades. But the cynic in me thinks that the relationship survived because it was forbidden, thus making it more precious and them more unwilling to let it go. Because humans sometimes are just plain stubborn, if they are told that they can't be together, they will try their utmost to be together, although they might not be compatible at all...

I must commend the two lead actors for bringing out the characters. Although it is hard to believe that those 2 guys are gays (blame that on the trashy entertainment news showing them married/attached in real life), one can feel the longings and love they have for one another in the movie. Their eyes tell so much. A glance here, a sneaked peek there really makes me feel for their suffering.

So for this movie, I'll give it a 3.5 star out of 5. If you watch it with an open mind (aka you can get over the make-out scenes and appreciate the human side of feelings and emotions without attaching any labels or stereotyping them), then go and watch it. If you are really bothered/turmed off by the notion of a guy kissing another guy, then I will advise you to give this a miss.

I am really interested in getting my hands on the short story written by Annie Proulx that inspired this movie.. See how she portrayed Jake and Ennis in her original work.. Curious..

Power corrupts??

Does Lord Acton's statement: "Power tends to corrupt; absolute power corrupts absolutely" rings true for all those in power?

I've seen several people who used to be nice and decent turning into political monsters once they became managers, ignoring and/or back-stabbing the very people that they are suppose to be taking care for. 难道这就是所谓的：“小人得志，鸡犬升天“?

Once one attain a managerial status, one will realise that out of the blue one seems to be surrounded by 'friends'. There is no lacking in those who like to say "Let me tell you something that so-and-so said about you the other day." who suddenly seems have your interest in mind. And you will notice too that those in managerial positions tend to be a bit hard on their hearings (except good things that were said about them) and blind to what is happening right in front of their eyes...

俗话说：“有多大的头就戴多大的帽”。没有那份能耐就别害人误己，因为自己的无能，领导无方却放不下身段承认，就拿下属开刀。有时搞到做不成同事，连朋友也无法做下去。就多那几百块钱和一个死了带不走的经理/总裁头衔，值得放冷箭、撕破脸、弄得自己名誉扫地，千夫所指吗？？

Bad sign....

Getting more and more frustrated at work each day.. This is NOT a good sign..

I need to find a 出路soon..

I will apply for scholarships to Japan and Taiwan and hopefully one of the universities there wants me, and/or I will explore further opportunities in translation, and/or will definitely put all my effort into my Jap lessons, or maybe I shall do all the above...

Work has not been giving me the satisfaction it once did. And frankly I have not been putting in 110% of myself into it either, because how am I supposed to?? With everyday seeming like a torture, wishing & hoping that the servers/applications 'behave themselves' & don't give problems and with so many things/user-requests to do, and yet being questioned by my boss: "So what are you busy with?" [when she herself is the main culprit aggravating the situation], how is one supposed to be motivated???

With no motivation, satisfaction is non-existant. And please spare me those idle talks about "Job satisfactions come from within oneself", blah blah blah.. When one is being ignored/back-stabbed numeruos times just trying to do what is best for the company, when those playing politics get more increment/bonuses/etc than those who actually do the work, when one is being taken granted/overlooked, 'job satisfaction' is a luxury that few can afford to indulge. Job satisfaction doesn't pay the rent, doesn't endear you to those people playing politics (instead of working), and certainly won't be the one thing that one will remember in one's death bed. You can call me cynic or doom-sayer, but I think I am just being practical and realistic. You can work your's ass off, but when times are bad (or you happen to step on someone's toes) the company will not be there for you.. Unless of course you owned the company, or you happen to be (sleeping/whatever-ing) with the boss..

So for me, my current work motto is "人不为己，天诛地灭" and "Best effort during office hours".

Zero-sum Game

Today I received the email notification from my placement company, who send me to HP-VISA Project, informing me that there is an increment (of less than 5%) for me.

I don't feel particularly excited about this increment, although I should be as this is regarded as a bonus. Yes, based on my contract, any increment is strictly up to the good will of HP management. So I am supposed to be happy about it, but I don't.

Why?

Firstly, I am doing (far) more than I am first employed to do. Overloaded is the word. I need to do BAUs, projects, troubleshooting of applications and managing a group of Analysts whom everybody knows is doing not-very-value-added tasks. Even as I am being swampped by these tasks/workload, I continue to leave office at 5:30pm, as I do not feel a sense of ownership of the work/tasks/projects. I know I can perform better, it's just that there is no(t enough) motivation to make me wanna. How sad...

Secondly, I can't help but to compare what I'm getting with what the others in my team are getting. I got to know what all of them are drawing, no thanks to a BIG blunder by the HP Manager. So if I'm getting an increment, I don't see why they won't. And their pays are much higher than mine to begin with, that discourage me from wanting to put in extra efforts. I will do my part of the job/tasks, equivalent to the salary that they are paying me. Including all the disturbances of midnight/unearthly-hours phone calls that I've been receiving, I can say with clear conscious that I've done my part of the bargain.

Lastly, the increment is given without any performance evaluation done. So how fair could it be? On what criteria did they based our increment percentage on?

So frankly, being on contract doesn't encourage one putting as much effort as one would if one is a permanent staff. You pay what you get. Having a fixed contractural terms from the very begining and no performance evaluation in between, why should one work exceptionally hard? As long as one do not make serious mistakes, one will be able to just sit through the whole contract period.

For me, I'll save up the increment for my trip to Tokyo this Oct. Hopefully it could get me a few decent meals in downtown Tokyo..

Y does my nose go on running??

(sing it to the tune of "Why does my heart go on beating?" - End of the World by the Carpenters)

My nose has been the cause of most of my MCs in my working life. Either that or fever/headache. I seem to be so easily succumable to these small ailments. My nose runs at least once a month, if I am lucky. I must have contributed at least 20-30% of the deforestration in Borneo for my constant demand of tissue.. And think about the money that could be better spend other than buying tissues..

I need to do something about this sensitive nose of mine.. I can't go on forever contributing to the papermills.

I will exercise more often. I will cut down on my consumption of cold drinks. I will eat more fruits/vegetables and Vit C. Let's see if these will work...

X-Uni mates...

Had dinner with my best mates in Uni just now.

I knew them since my days in NUS. One of them is my room-mate during my first year in Eusoff Hall. Come to think of it, we have known each other for almost 12 years now!! It was good to meet up with them.. Both of them are doing equally well... One is a marketing director while the other a retail manager! One of them is even getting married this coming Sep!!

Frankly, I'm most at ease around the both of them.. We all have seen each other in the best and worst of times, in our most untidiness or our most glamorous (both of them are more glamourous/professional than me, anytime).. I can talked things that I dont normally talked about with them. It's good to have friends who knows who I really am. To accept me as what I am and not expect me to be who they want me to be... I sincerely thank them for this..

Hopefully we can meet up more often in future.. These are friends who were made to be kept.. :)

What an 'eventful' day!!

(aka what a crappy day)
And the day started innocently enough...

With my PC's getting a clean bill of health after weeks of sickness (blank blue screen when starting up). It happened. Suddenly, the error messages kept appearing.. first it was the NetMeeting software, then it was my Entrust profile, my WinAmp refuses to play music, same as my Window Media Player, finally my explorer died. So I ask the Desktop support guy to replace my hard disk, since they have already requisite a new one for me. With that I had the prospect of re-installing all the non-standard softwares that I require to do my work.. but I rather spend time installing a new hard disk then to always have to work around a bad one.

Just when I thought I can finally do my work, one of my guys who is on duty (that 24/7 monitoring team) had to go on urgent leave as his grandfather is fatally ill. Less than 30 minutes later, he called to inform that his grandfather has indeed passed away. So I need to find a replacement for his shift today, his night shift tomolo night and again his day shift on Sat. It is sooooo frustrating when I am not able to help in anyway, that I can't even cover their duty for 2 hours!!!! I was not trained in doing what they are doing, but yet I am supposed to be their team lead. What a joke! After making some phones calls, the other team members are supportive enough to cover the shifts.

By the time my new hard disk was fully configured, it's almost 5pm!! And with the new hard disk come the new versions of softwares that I am totally not familiar with! I had to spend time figuring out how to do things that normally takes minutes, like the stupid new version of Outlook 2003. It refuses to send out my emails, saying "the mailbox has exceeded the limit". What crap! And to make things worse, the DVD-ROM decided to go on strike! Ha! Great!! This has to happen just when I need to install all the non-standard softwares!! With the Desktop support guy already gone back, and even if he is around, he can't do much as they do not do DVD-ROM replacement, I will need to share out another PC's DVD-ROM so I can mapped to it in order to use it to install my softwares!! And my Entrust software is not working on the new hard disk... Arrrggghhhh......

With my work piling up and yet to be cleared after my loooooong CNY holidays, things are just not great..

I'll be looking forward to another 'eventful' day tomorrow.. *groan*

Very First Study Group Session...

Met up with some of my translation classmates yesterday afternoon.

A few of us decided to have a monthly meet-up session to discuss about the past year IoL (Institute of Linguist, UK) papers. Some of us wanted to take the exam next year, while others just want to keep up their passion for translation alive.

There were four of us, while the other 6 could not make it for various reasons. As this is just a casual meet-up, attendance is voluntary.

We had a good talk, catching up with one another after the last exam in Dec 05. We also talked about the almost non-existant translation industry in Singapore, where translation is treated like a footnote, rather than being an important part of a presentation/brochure/booklet/etc, how translators are paid peanuts and how hopeless some translations of some government booklets are (and yet no one seems to be bothered by it). Most of us realised that it is almost impossible to work as a freelance translator in Singapore, if you do not have the connections. How sad! I bet most of us from the translation class can do a better job than some of the so-called translators in the market.

We made plans to meet up again in March, and also laid down some guidelines on how the future sessions will proceed. We are all trying to keep the interest of translation alive...

Unfit... again...

Darn!! I can't believe what 2 months of inactivity has done to my stamina..

Jogged for the first time since the Standard Chartered Marathon in Dec 05, and boy am I NOT fit. All the chrismas chocolates and new year cookies has zapped me of my hard-built stamina. I took almost 50 minutes to finish 5.5km!! And I stopped and walked for many times... This is no good.. I can't let this slipped again. I need to get back at least part of my stamina if I were to sign-up for the 5.6km JP Morgan Run in April.

Must get back my stamina.. Jia You!!!

Trip to China (Part 1)

Went to China for 8 days during the recent Chinese New Year.

Main purpose of the tour was to visit the village my grandfather came from in Fu Jian. It is a village called 向阳村in 南安市. We were to spend 2 days and 2 nights there. The other days were to visit some famous temples and tourist attractions in 厦门、莆田、福州 and 泉州.

My 3rd, 4th, 7th, 8th & 11th Uncles/Aunties and 6th Auntie, together with 6 of my (younger) cousins and my parents made the trip . A total of 20 Mr/Mrs/Miss Gohs. :)

I will note down what I saw and experienced during the trip in my subsequent postings.. Stay tuned..

Siao!! Mad rush and sleep deprived...

What a mad rush it was the last few days.. Reached KLIA on 05 Feb, ard 7.30pm. Reached 4th Uncle's house ard 8.30pm, left an hour later. Reached Taiping 1am of 06 Feb. Prayed til almost 4am, slept. Then I was in a coach heading back Singapore in less than 16 hours. Reached Singapore around 5am (7 Feb).... Working on 08 Feb!!

Wasn't feeling that well on 07 Feb, but luckily the panadols worked its magic and I'm able to go to work at 7am on 08 Feb.

It's no fun being back at work... As everyone here has started work since 31 Jan, my share of the work has been piling up.. :( And just when I thought I would have a good night sleep last night, my guy on duty for system monitoring called me this morning at 5:45am!! Couldn't sleep after that... And I'm having an application training these 2 days!! Siao!!

Hopefully I can get a good rest this coming weekend... Pray hard hard that no emergency arises or servers going gila...