Glutton week ahead...

Makan, makan and more makan... 3 makans to attend to this week..

Monday
The farewell dinner that I managed to persuade my VISA boss to give my colleague who is leaving end of this week. We will be going to Furama Hotel for a dinner buffet.

Tuesday
Another farewell dinner for the same colleague, this time is a treat to her by all the engineers working in the same command center. There is about 10 of us in total, including the one who is leaving. We'll be going to the Outback Steak House in Millenia for dinner.

Wednesday and Thursday
Rest day for the stomach... :)

Friday
This dinner is given by my HP manager's boss, who took over this project about 2 months ago. He is inviting all the HP engineers, including those in other Visa office. There is about 30 of us. It'll be at the Singapore Recreation Club in City Hall. Heard that he is a cunning s.o.b., but I reserve my judgement until I finally see him. So let's see what he has to say about the renewal of our contracts that is ending this Nov.. Regardless, all of us will try to bankrupt him by eating a lot on that night..

3 person doing 5 persons' workload during the last 5 days

Last week was madness... not that I went through that low carb diet of mine, but the fact is the team is left with 3 engineers, me inclusive. 2 of the engineers were on annual leave for 5 days and the 3 of us was left to cover the job/duty of 5.

Many things happened.. but luckily we are able to handle them.. Vomitted lots of blood due to the incompetence of various parties, my boss included. People asking stupid questions, people making same stupid mistakes, people causing major/minor problems for no reason, etc...

Seriously, HP better find replacement for the colleague who is leaving end of this week quick or there will be more of us leaving.. We can only sustain for so long.. The load is getting heavier and the resources is not coming in soon enough. So what if my VISA boss managed to get 2 new head counts from her management? It will amount to nothing if my HP boss drags his feet, or as he say it: "cannot find people ma, what you want me to do?" Asking someone to do tasks that one is not trained to do and demanded the same high quality and efficiency. How reasonable is that? It is not as if that person can neglect his/her current job/tasks and concentrate on these new tasks. Everyday everything here is 'Urgent'. How can that be?? We are the operations team, so projects should be placed at a lower priority, which unfortunately is not being done.

My team of 5 engineers will be down to 4 the following week. And there is not a single interview conducted yet!! To think that she sent in her notice almost 1.5 months ago!! If one of us is to leave now, the whole team will definitely collapse.. How I wish I could be the tipping point, the straw that broke the camel's back.. but alas, I can't... at least not until next Feb.. when the decision is out..

Recently my HP manager wrote an email to my VISA manager, asking her help to slow down the projects that is being channeled to our team. Telling her that the team morale is very low as all of us are overworked. What a dope! Does he think that she will risked being chastise by her management as the one holding/delaying the projects, just because the 'outsourced' operation team is overworked and in low morale?? How naive can he be?? The only thing he should and could do is to get replacement in fast and offload us! Don't give me the crap that he can't find the right engineers for the job.. If he is to offer enough money, people will come. With money, nothing is impossible.. Everyone has a right price. If he gives all of us a 30% pay increase, I think our morale will definitely be very high... :)

My 7 days of low carb diet

Didnt think I could do it but I did!!

It all started with one of my colleague who told some of us of his theory of weight loss. He came out with a theory, after consulting many many many health books etc, that if one is to starve one's body of carbs for 7 days, giving it only about 20g of it, the body will be tricked to find and use other source of energy, namely the fats. He tried it and it worked on him, making himself lost 5kg within 7 days.

Well, doesn't it sound tempting?? Eat anything but carbs for 7 days and lose 5 kg?? Even losing 3kg within 7 days is big enough motivation for me... And so I decided to give this diet a try.. and boy, was it tough!

Preparation work
How can one survive on protein and fats alone if one does not do homework?? For about 2 weeks, I went to various supermarkets (Fairprice, Shop and Save, Cold Storage, etc) and start reading all the labels on all the food products. Can food, frozen food, packed food, pre-packed food, preserved food, drinks and beverages, whatever that I can get my hands on.. Then I realised lots of the common food that we eat contains tons of carbohydrates. In the end I realised I had to survive on tuna in oil, tuna in water, eggs, all meat and poultry, all green leafy vegetables, no cereal/milk/ribena/bread/noodles/rice/garlic/tomato/chili/anything with flour/sugar. The only seasoning I can use is sesame oil, butter, a little bit of pepper and a very little bit of soy sauce.

Day One (22 Jul)
Started it on a Saturday so i can cook for myself and not rely on canned tuna or sausages yet. So I had steamed minced pork (with sesame oil) with toufu for breakfast which I didn't really finish. Lunch I had almond nuts. Dinner was stew pork with vegetable.
Total carbs: around 15g
Verdict: Survived the first day with no side effects...

Day Two (23 Jul)
Breakfast was butter prawns. Lunch was again almond nuts. Dinner was one whole fish (黑鲳鱼). Went for a jog in the evening, ran about 4.5km. Didn't want to push myself too much as this is only my second day..
Total carbs: almost 20g
Verdict: Survived but begining to miss those sweet stuff, especially my Ribena...

Day Three (24 Jul)
First day of dieting at work. Didnt know what to expect. Had 3 softboiled eggs before going to work, but could barely last till lunch time. Had to have some almond nuts to 'tahan'. Went to get coach tickets to go home with Bro on 5th during lunch time. Once back in office, ate my first can of tuna in olive oil. I'm beginning to have 2nd thoughts on this diet.. Went to NTUC Fairprice and bough a packet of individually packed cheese and ate half of them in the 2nd half of the day. Went home to cook my dinner. Had canned 扣肉with vegetable.
Total carbs: around 16g
Verdict: Survived but starting to regret...

Day Four (25 Jul)
Again, 3 softboiled eggs before leaving the house. Then went for breakfast with my colleagues and had 2 more scramble eggs and 3 sausages but skipped the kaya toast. Had teh o kosong... Lunch was 5 sausages that I've brough from home. Dinner was chicken chop with vegetables.
Total carbs: almost 20g
Verdict: Surviving.. happy that I'm half way there... I can see the light...

Day Five (26 Jul)
Same, had 3 soft-boiled eggs and some almonds. No sausages for breakfast. Feeling gung-ho and went jogging during lunch time. Ran for 30 min and covered about 3.6km, was very proud of myself. In the end, suffered the 2nd half of the day in office. Hungry like mad, but cant eat any carbs, so had to eat a lot of almonds and cheese to 'tahan'. Went home and had 5 sausages for dinner. Whole body very lembik.. weak.. hallucinating about roti.. bread.. all kinds of bread..
Total carbs: around 15g
Verdict: I WANT MY CARBS!!! (must tahan...) Mind over stomach..

Day Six (27 Jul)
Almost there... had 3 softboiled eggs. had breakfast (another 2 more eggs and 3 sausages).. cheese for lunch.. although I went with my colleagues to the hawker center, I sat there watching them eat.. I realised that I can withstand the temptation! I can look at them and not feel the urge to grab their food away and eat it myself.. I've gotten used to the hunger bangs and the bland taste of my food.. Maybe I can really succeed in it..
Total carbs: around 12g
Verdict: I can do it, I can do it.. 2 more days..

Day Seven (28 Jul)
OH!! Last day of the diet.. I'm at the final home stretch.. again, same routine (3 eggs at home, 2 eggs and 3 sausages at work) for breakfast.. Went to Kuan Yin Temple for prayers as my colleagues decided to go to the nearby hawker center for lunch.. Went back office and had my cheese.. Dinner was 10 sausages.. :P Didn't realise that I could still eat so many sausages at one go.. but who can blame me? I had nothing at work after lunch except cheese... Counting down to midnight..
Total carbs: almost 20g
Verdict: I MADE IT!!

After 7 looooong days, I only lost 1kg.. but I gained much insight to my own discipline and determination. I am one who love food, who wont deprive myself from having any food that I crave, so for me to deny myself food (especially bread and noodles) for 7 days and live on nothing but protein and fats, it is an accomplishment. At least now I know the low carb diet doesnt work on me... :P

Think I better stick to eat normally/less and exercise more to lose weight..

First day of Seventh Month

Yesterday was the first day of the Lunar Seventh Month, popularly known as the "Ghost Month" for the Chinese.

And yesterday, it was very 'exciting' in office.

Early in the morning, the Exchange mail server was flooded by thousands of emails originating from a test. We stopped the email from sending out from the culprit server, but were hopeless to stop those that were already stuck in the mail server. The mail server was down almost the entire work day and was only working properly around 5.30pm, after a reboot of the server which cleared away the dead emails.

Then around 4:30pm, the Internet server was behaving strangely and users were not able to access any of the websites at all. Seems like the Unix server encountered a major core dump, which hogged the disk space and also killed the java processes that were running in it. So before we could delete any logs, we need to get the log files out for forensic purposes. With the files amounting to 3G, it took us almost 40 min to ftp the files out. As no advisory can be sent to the users to notify this outage immediately (becos of the mail server issue), we had to send 2 consecutive advisory, first to advise of the outage and the second one for it's resolution.

Two major happenings in a day.. that's too much excitement for me.. especially when the team is left with 3 engineers (including me) to hold the fort. So I think I need to go and pray, so I can have a smooth double 7th month..

Passed E2 Japanese!!

YES!! I've passed my Elementary 2 Japanese!!

Got the result only after I called the language school. The school was supposed to send the result to us via email after 2.30pm. However, having waited til 5pm and still no email, I give Bunka Language School a call to find out my result.

I scored 7 over 10 in my oral and 66 upon 100 for my written. So I PASSED!! I should be able to collect my E2 certificate next week.. :)

Although the result is not fantastic at all, but what the heck, I passed.. Not too bad, considering I was either sick or busy at work for most of the past 2 months. Didn't really revise as much as I did for my E1. But anyway, I'll take a couple of weeks break before I decide whether to continue Intermediate 1 in the same school. I might decide to self study for the year end JLPT 4 or 3 exam. But for now, I need to rest and catch up on all my backlogged readings...

We didn't all come over on the same ship, but we're all in the same boat.

This is a quote by Bernard M. Baruch (1870 - 1965), an American financier, stock market speculator, statesman and presidential adviser.

I belived it sums up very well the situation in my 'company', Visa. Regardless of whether you are permanent staff, contracted staff or outsourced staff, all of us works in the same building, floor and office. We will be praised/'screwed' by the same BIG boss if we did well/badly. What makes them (permanent staff) more superior than us, the contracted/outsourced staff?? Maybe because they can tell people that they work for VISA, unlike us. We can only say we work in Visa and not get into the complicated employment scenario of being a contracted staff, being seconded from a placement company to HP, and then sent to VISA to work on the project that HP bidded and won.

If one of us falls sick because of the air/water/whatever in the office, are they immune to it since they are 'permanent' staff?? So what makes them more eligible for the distribution of the Tamiflu than us?? Does it mean that VISA wouldn't mind a few of the contracted/outsourced staff to die of bird flu, but not their own staff?? Even if those staff are non-critical personnel, while the contracted/outsourced staffs manage all their IT services/servers?? What kind of logic is this?? It is not that I'm so hard-up for that few Tamiflu pills, which by the way has not be certified/verified to be able to prevent/cure bird flu, but it's the whole episode that ilks me. And pissed me off more is the attitude that some of the staff have towards us, the contracted/outsourced staff. What makes them think that they are in a safer position than us?? The company can still fire them immediately if it wants to, which did happen a couple of times in the past 2+ years I was in the company.

In this time and space, there is no such thing called "JOB SECURITY". It's a word that can be and should be banished, being a footnote to human employment history.

Had lunch with my lecturer...

Met up with my translation lecturer from Nanjing University, Professor He Chengzhou, who taught me last year. We met yesterday at Vil'age Restaurant. I approached him for a favour.. I needed a lecturer who taught me to write the recommendation letter for my application for the Monbusho Scholarship.. Thankfully, he agreed and thus the meet-up.

We talked a lot during the meal. He was to teach this year's class in the afternoon, so we had a 1.5 hour lunch. He shared his views and knowledge about China today, his life in Norway (6 years) and I told him about myself, family and of course, the application process of the scholarship. He was very friendly and approachable. I was very lucky that it was his turn to come this month. I would have a tougher time getting the recommendation letter if it was Prof Ke Ping or Prof Yang Jincai. So in a way, i think 老天在帮我..

Clash of the Dates....

The date, 03 Dec 2006, seems like a hot favourite... The first Sunday of December... The annual JLPT exam is going to be held on that day and so will the yearly Standard Chartered Marathon...

So now, which one should I pick? Should I choose to take JLPT which has an (direct) impact to my future plans? Or should I choose to better my last year's 10km timing? The run normally starts 6-7am and I would have reached the finish line in 1.5 hours time, the max. Then after taking the medal, and returning all the timer chip, etc, I would be free by 11am. So if the JLPT exam timing is in the afternoon, then I might be able to take part in both... Hopefully that's the case... else it will be dilemma...

Might still have a chance....

Just got back from my last Jap lesson before next week's exam...

I think I have 50-50 chance to pass it.. Definitely have to work very hard this week and weekend.. Other than the usual conversation test and written test, there will be a listening test too, whereby the Sen-sei will read out a passage twice and we need to answer multiple choice questions.. She did a mock test just now, and I managed to get 6 correct answers out of 8 questions correctly.. Not bad.. :P So maybe still got chance to pass... Gambatte!!

Japanese Elementary II Exam next week... Oh No!!

Oh NO!!! I'm going to have my Jap E2 exam next week... siao liao...

After I missed last week's class, with 1 more lesson to go (tomorrow), it'll be exam again!! This E2 is much more difficult than E1.. And with me falling sick more often during the last few weeks and work getting busier, I have less time and energy to revise and study... Hopefully can still pass it... else I'll have to re-do E2 again or at least re-take the E2 exam again... Arrggghhh.. think of the money i'm going to 'waste'... Better try to study these 1+ week and see if I can pass it this time.. if I do, then i'll take a few weeks break to master what is taught for E1 & E2 before moving on to Intermediate 1... Gambatte!!

ITALY won the WORLD CUP!!!

YES!! Italy has finally won the World Cup for the 4th time of their history, becoming the country after Brazil with the most wins...

Didn't want to watch the match early this morning, but was woken up by some loud screaming from somewhere within my block. Since i was woken up, I decided to catch some last World Cup action, although I know very well that I need to go to work at 7am...

When I switched on my TV, France was leading 1-0 with Zidane's penalty. I was determined to cheer Italy on for them to get an equaliser. And surely at the 19th min, Materrazi scored a superb header from Pirlo's corner kick.. Barthez had no chance at all.. I was hooked and has decided that I will watch the entire match, not knowing that the outcome of the match will not be determined until almost 2 hours later... The French's attacks were very dangerous but they had no answer to Italy's solid defence.

Then full 90 minutes had pasted, 1st extra time was over too and now it was the final 15 min before the match goes into penalty shootout. Out of sudden there was commotion on the field, Italian goalkeeper Buffon was frantic about something and there was an Italian player down on the ground. Soon, the marvel of technology showed what had actually happened. Seemed like Zidane had head-putted Materrazi onto the floor!! This is sooo un-Zidane. Materrazi must have really gotten onto his nerve or Zidane's nerve was really tighten until it snapped on Materrazi who happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. The referee had no choice but to give Zidane a red card and ordered him off the field. What a sad ironic way of ending one's football career??!!!

Now only 10 men, France soldiered on. But alas, Italy was not able to capitalise on the 1 man advantage and the match went to penalty shoot-out... With Italy's horrible penalty shootout record, I was really worried that history might repeat itself as in 1994 where Baggio missed his penalty.

Luckily, it was French player (Trezeguet) who choked and in the end handed the 2006 World Cup to ITALY!!!

黄昏以后 天亮之前

歌手:刘若英
专辑:一整夜
词：姚谦 曲：李伟菘

也许都这样
一直到老吧
黄昏以后人就更失落
喧哗霓虹灯
更让人心慌
看不清谁给谁的承诺
我选择在家里喝著酒
这应该是最安全的人生吧
想失去的也想起了曾经错过的
和可能永远得不到的
也许都这样一直到老吧
天亮以前人总很清醒
迟归的路人
霓虹灯减前
也有个怀抱等待投靠
为什黱我总一个人
与寂寞作战和作伴
黄昏以后一直到天亮了以前
就算摆脱了睡著了还是会寂寞
我选择在家里喝著酒
这应该是最安全的人生吧
想失去的也想了曾经错过的
和可能永远得不到的
一直都这样也许到老吧
天亮以前人总很清醒
迟归的路人,霓虹熄减前
转身奔向一个怀抱
嗯~我还是孤单的一个人

I have a Dream...

Sang by: ABBA
Written by: Benny Andersson & Björn Ulvaeus

I have a dream, a song to sing
To help me cope with anything
If you see the wonder of a fairy tale
You can take the future even if you fail
I believe in angels
Something good in everything I see
I believe in angels
When I know the time is right for me
I'll cross the stream - I have a dream

I have a dream, a fantasy
To help me through reality
And my destination makes it worth the while
Pushing through the darkness still another mile
I believe in angels
Something good in everything I see
I believe in angels
When I know the time is right for me
I'll cross the stream - I have a dream
I'll cross the stream - I have a dream

I have a dream, a song to sing
To help me cope with anything
If you see the wonder of a fairy tale
You can take the future even if you fail
I believe in angels
Something good in everything I see
I believe in angels
When I know the time is right for me
I'll cross the stream - I have a dream
I'll cross the stream - I have a dream

One for all? or All for one??

Which is a better country to stay? The country that would risk war, and maybe even condemnation of the world, to get one of their own citizens back? Or the country that is willing to risk the safety of all its citizens for the sake of holding on to 1 hostage, to get what they want in exchange?

For me, it's a no brainer. Of course I will choose the first country..

What is the point of asking the world to condemn the other country when all that country wants is its citizen back? One that was taken forcefully from the them? If they are really soooo concerned about the safety of their own citizens, in view of the fierce military retaliation of that first country, then why don't they just give up the hostage?? Isn't this the simplest way out?? DUH!!!

No wonder the citizens of the first country is so united, even when they were surrounded by so many that hated/despised them. Those countries around it will only 'united' when it benefits them one way or another.. No wonder US is so sure that Israel will survive in the Middle East...

See doctor... finally...

After a marathon team meeting that lasted well over 3.5 hours, I finally managed to get myself to the doctor's. As my 'usual' doctor is on holiday, I had to go the another one few doors away. Waited quite a while for the appointment. When it's my turn, told the doctor the symptoms and took temperature, blood pressure and check my tonsillitis. She mentioned that she has been seeing lots of adult patients with the same symptoms of high fever, cough, sore throat and headache. She said must be some strain of virus moving around.. She checked for rashes and told me to take note of any rashes forming as she is worried that it might be dengue fever instead. As my block was one of the dengue hot spot last year, she is worried that it might reoccur in the neighbourhood.

In the end, paid $25 for my medications, which includes antibiotics, cough syrup, losenges, pain killer and running nose medication.

Survived 5 hours...

Survived 5 hours at work now... My fever has sort of gone down.. I got my appetite back.. Another 3+ hours to go before I go home and see doctor...

Sick and pissed...

Yesterday was sick.. very sick.. high fever until I blur.. almost 40 degree.. Couldn't even leave the house!! Kept taking panadol every 4 hours.. Had to miss my Japanese lesson.. :( Only got better towards the night..

Came to work today.. As usual, the irritants are still here.. The usual "problematic" Daniel had problem implementing one of the Internet application.. Aiy... that's one of the reason why I asked the user to wait for me to return today to implement it.. Too bad they can't wait.. so in the end they spent hours debugging a simple problem.. Well, so much for the expert!!

Suffering...

Stayed up early this morning for the Germany Vs Italy match and I'm now suffering for it...

Running nose, heavy head and feeling feverish... How am I going to last thru tonight's Japanese class???

Germany LOST!! :(

Germany lost their match against Italy.. *Cry Cry*

I have been supporting Germany since my teens and the fact now that they won't be having a chance in Berlin to win the World Cup is really really difficult for me to accept. But frankly having just seen the match, almost 100 minutes of it, the Italians deserved more to be in the finals than the Germans. Both teams played well but the Italians had more hunger and creativity in the game. Germany's midfield was totally ineffective, not to mention that Michael Ballack was totally useless, and the Italian's defence was inpenetrable. The game was going into penalty kicks when Grosso scored in the last 3rd minute of the 2nd extra time and then del Piero added the final nail to Germany's coffin in the next minute...

Now I'll be hoping to see the Italians win the World Cup in Berlin on 09 Jul...

"I have a job but I want a career"

Chit-chatted with one of my colleagues about our plans when our contract finished this coming November.

He planned to study in French universities next year and has yet to decide what he wanted to major in. I told him about my scholarship application and plan to continue applying for scholarships to Japan and Taiwan. Both of us agreed that if given a better choice, we would leave this job/company of ours.

One thing he said sort of made me thinking, "I have a job now, but I want a career..". Ah.. how apt his description of our current situation.. Yes, we both have a job that pays us every month, but we do not have a career.. Frankly, who in the IT line can truly say that they have a career?? Is being Project Manager a career? System Engineer? Programmer? Developer? What is the next step of being a System Engineer/Developer? Senior System Engineer/Developer? and then what? There is only so many managerial positions in a company, cos you cant have everyone being the manager, then who else will be doing the 'dirty' work?? Every year there are new graduates joining the work force, every year there are IT 'whizs' willing to work at a fraction of the pay but with twice the enthusiasm/effort. With IT outsourcing being the norm, with the influx of cheaper (and some say better) IT service providers from India and China, who wants to engage a local as a permanent IT staff?

Everyone wants to be the next manager, and most are willing to do anything to get it, including back-stabbing and bad-mouthing. 我不想卷入那些勾心斗角、抹黑 、奸诈、阿谀我诈的卑鄙行为。我自认没有高尚的品行，但还是有些事情我是决不会做的。要我说违背良心的奉承话语，对不起，我做不到。也许就因为这样我拒绝了两次晋升的机会，不是因为我能力不足，而是因为我不是搞办公室政治的能手，与其被他人当眼中钉或是在同事之中耍手段，我选择不参与，置身事外。也许你们会觉得我是在逃避，但我觉得自己还未到功夫，‘太极功夫’和‘耍赖神功’还欠缺火候，还必须闭门修炼才能在‘江湖’立足。也许不是我办不到，而是我不想办到。

老实说我现在似乎又再次失去了方向，工作的方向。我真的可以只要“job”而不需要“career”吗？曾经工作代表了我所有的身份，唯一的身份。而今我现在的身份到底是什么？人家的女儿？他人的姐姐？公司的职员？他人的好友？的确有一点迷惘了。我没有一个可以为自己定位的方针。。。我知道这是我必须解开的心结，只有我自己才能解决的难题。也许我太倔强太逞强了，什么事情都想一个人去解决处理，很少向他人求助或问意见，也许吧。。但我始终相信靠自己才是最好的方法，他人没有义务与你分担所有事务，因为能帮得了一时却不可能帮你一辈子的。任何事都必须靠自己才是上上之策。

所以“我到底要什么？”这问题也只有我自己才可能有答案。。

Tiring days..

Had to work OT last thursday. Didnt expect to work late.. stayed in the office till almost 11:30pm!! And had to come back to office at 8am the next day. When I got home that night, it had gone past 12 midnight. I couldn't sleep after bathing.. thus I watched 2 TVB episodes of 法证先锋 til almost 2am.. Slept for a while and got up 6.30am and went to work.

Friday was a busy day with another of my colleague taking leave, which left only 3 out of 5 in the team working. I reached office around 8.20am, the rest of my colleagues reached around 9am and 10am respectively. There was quite a lot of things to do and I was kept busy all thru the day. But I did went to Marina Square for a 2-hour lunch with my colleagues.. Later that day, I had to stay back again for OT. Left office around 8pm.. Slept around 12mn that night.

Slept in late yesterday and today. Went for a jog yesterday. Did 5km in 50mins. Not too bad. Finished reading all the papers that had been piling up since 2 weeks ago. Rest and stoned at home these 2 day.. How i wish i could have more such days...